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Not good. It stinks of social scarcity and desperation no matter how you dress it up. I know that it might sound extreme, but this is the kind of vibe you put out to all the women around you when you focus on just one woman, and go back and forth -- off and on with her like this.

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***QUESTION***

"Dave,

Once again you da bomb man! Thanks for the initial approach advise inclusion in your monday mailbag. This was the hardest part for me. Now I just say Hi! to a woman when I see and start talking. What to talk about just comes to you once you are in the mode of talking. Also the ladies you usually make comments you can build on, make fun of, and explore further. I just have to push myself to say Hi and rest will take care of itself. Now I have multiple date requests I am trying to juggle! Got another question though. I know you emphasize playing hard to get and I have played that with the ladies I have gone out with. But you know - they play the same game too! I know that this girl does like me and has given few hints that she does but she makes herself inaccessible for some time and then gets back to me. How do I respond to this? Do I just chill? So far I have just acted nonchalant and acted as I am very busy myself.

Any other ideas?

Thanks,

A."

***MY COMMENTS***


You made a great point here... if you'll just approach women and start conversations, they will often pick up and start asking YOU questions. One important factor is your body language, voice, comfort level, etc. If you come across like you're all freaked out and nervous, then you're going to make her feel that way, and she's not going to want to keep it going. But if you say "Hi" in a cool, confident tone of voice, and can keep a relaxed posture, it's amazing how friendly many women are. As for your question... YES! Women do play hard to get sometimes, don't they? My answer is to step up your "hard-to-getness" just a little more.

Here's the way I look at it: I don't like head games and drama. But I've learned through experience that it just plain works better, and women enjoy it more if you do some things that are "game-like."

Here's an example for you...

You call her up to get together, and she says "Well, I'm busy today, so why don't you call me tomorrow."

Most guys would say "OK" and just call the next day.

Instead, do this... say "OK, well I'm going to be busy tomorrow, so we'll talk some other time, Miss Hard-To-Get. OK, talk to you later" all in one breath.

I've done three things:

1) I've turned up the heat and hit the ball back to her by telling that I'm more busy than her.

2) I've been cocky and funny (calling her "Miss Hard-To-Get")

3) I've created TENSION by saying "OK, talk to you later."

A comment like this in a situation like this will usually get a "Hey, no call me sooner" or a "No, don't hang up yet" kind of response. Practice it a few times out loud so you can hear how it comes across.

Apply this concept to other situations... and enjoy.

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